Otaku Attack and other Oneshots
by Lvl2DragonTamer
Summary: A bag of oneshots starting with 'So, Beast Boy, this 'glomping' of which you speak is some kind of attack, yes? ' Mostly fluff. BBxRae.
1. Otaku Attack

_Set anytime after Season Three, preferably around/after Season Five.  
_

* * *

Raven clapped her book shut and turned to face the greenest member of the team. He was waving a plate of something white and lumpy under her nose. Normally she would have held out about ten more seconds before reacting, but the smell alone warranted her full attention, even if her vision hadn't been blocked by the plate. 

"Do you have a problem?" She asked in a voice as flat as the linoleum counter.

Beast Boy was caught off guard by her sudden change of tactics--he had been expecting another ten seconds or so before she switched from Stoic Indifference to Biting Cynicism mode. He drew the plate back and swallowed, ready to rep--

"Of course you do." She answered her own question before his mouth was even halfway open. "Many problems on many levels. But the worst seems to be your hearing. How many times do I have say this, Beast Boy?"

His eyes sparkled with an undoubtedly corny retort, but before he could quite formulate it into English she cut him off.

"That was a rhetorical question." She dropped off the stool and stopped in a float about two inches above the floor. "I am going to put this as simply as I possibly can, Beast Boy," She called over a shoulder. She was already fading into the shadows of the hallway. "I don't eat fake food."

_End of discussion_, she thought smugly to herself. If she read fast, maybe, just maybe, she could find out about the Twilii before a criminal triggered their alarm--

"Please, friend Beast Boy, this 'glomping', it is some kind of attack, yes?"

Raven paused at the threshold of the hallway. She started to rifle through her memories, picking out bits and pieces of reality that had drifted through the story she was reading.

Beast Boy had made the mistake of saying "glomp" in a sentence describing Starfire's brand of hugs, which happened to be a very "not nice" word on Tameran. Luckily Starfire had given the prankster the benefit of the doubt and allowed him to explain the Earth meaning for the word. So Beast Boy had tried to define "to glomp", pausing only to offer Raven the chance to eat something other than herbal tea.

"No, Star, it's not--well, I guess it kind of, umm..." Silence. For a full five seconds.

_NOT GOOD._ All of Raven's senses screamed at her. _HE'S ATTEMPTING TO THINK. RUN._

"Here, I'll just show you what it is. Think fast, Rae!"

Raven turned around in time to see the shapeshifter body slam into her at full force and squeeze her in a death grip. They both went flying, but, luckily for Beast Boy, he managed to keep them from falling on the ground. He had his arms wrapped around her in a tight bear hug, a bear hug that would have made even Starfire wince.

To top it all off, he yelled "GLOMP!" in her ear.

The empath must have thought "bear hug" a little too loudly, because that was exactly what he morphed into, lifting her a good three feet off the ground and nearly cracking her ribs in a tight squeeze.

She knew her face was the color of strawberries and that she was powerless to hide it. Her hood was pinned between her back and the bear's fur. One thought kept her focused, one thought kept the kitchen from imploding: _I am going to get him for this. Somehow._

And then he morphed back into Beast Boy and dropped her back to the floor.

"That, Starfire." Beast Boy said cheerfully. "Is 'glomping someone'." His response was a barely stifled giggle from the alien princess.

"So, it is a... 'hug of bear'?"

"Exactly, except manga style." The shapeshifter responded. "Umm, dude, you okay?"

Robin was an interesting shade of purple. He appeared to be choking on his own laughter. Cyborg was faring no better.

_I will get them all._

"So, Rae--"

"Beast Boy, how many times do I have to say it?!" She snarled, whirling on the shapeshifter. The cheeky grin vanished instantly. "I know making me suffer is one of the greatest joys you can get out of life, but keep it up and you won't have a life left to live. Do you understand?"

He opened his mouth, but Raven silenced him. Again.

"Of course you don't understand. I used a word longer than two syllables in that sentence. I am going to say this in the simplest of words possible. Leave." She said, her voice completely even, almost a hiss. "Me." She took a step towards the boy. "Alone." She finished, in a voice so quiet that it was barely audible. "Got it?"

She gave him her trademark if-looks-could-kill glare and dared him to reply.

Normally, her Snake Woman voice would frighten him into submission, but something that vaguely resembled an idea must have sparked across his brain at that instant. Because, instead of backing up and making some remark about her inherent creepiness, his green eyes sparkled like Christmas lights and his mouth peeled back into a wide grin.

"**NEVER!!**" He bellowed defiantly, his stupid pointed tooth baring itself in one of the most ridiculous smiles she had ever seen plastered on his face. "And that's not a threat, Rae!" He continued, his grin not even shrinking fractionally upon seeing her expression, "It's a promise!"

She buried him in the sofa cushions, her own way of saying that all was forgiven.

* * *

Raven sighed and sank into the dimness of her room. Mid-Morning meditation. She replayed the scene in her mind's eye, from the smelly tofu concoction that Beast Boy very well knew she would rather starve than consume, to the pillow war that erupted between the five Titans after Raven had buried the shapeshifter alive. _At least that oversized couch comes in handy for something,_ she thought to herself. 

Then her memory went back to his defiant, cocky threat: _"NEVER!!"_

Her mouth twitched upward into a--smirk. Yeah. That was it. It was definitely a sneer. Because, well, that was a joke, and if she was _smiling _at _Beast Boy's_ joke--

Sneer. Definitely a sneer.

_"And that's not a threat, Rae! It's a promise!"_

_Though there aren't many sneers I have to cover up with my hand, _Raven admitted to herself as the smile spread slowly across her face._  
_

* * *

Yup, that's it. Want to drop a review? You can just type in "42" if you can't think of anything to say, I'm kinda curious to see who read this far. :D

* * *


	2. Popcorn Wars

_A/N:_ After some consideration, I've decided to turn this into a collection of oneshots--I've got so many little scenes floating around in my head, it'd really be nice to get them down on paper. Virtual paper, anyways. It seems like there's a small mountain of these sitting around, so sorry about being unoriginal. I'm pretty sure most of them will be BBxRae to some extent, and I may cap it off with something a bit more serious at the end. Drop me a line if you think that I should just quit while I'm ahead and keep my other oneshots to myself.

_This one's set anytime after Season 2. Longer than I had intended, but that's how it goes...  
_

* * *

Beast Boy almost staggered into the wall. He was exhausted. So exhausted, that he didn't notice that the kitchen lights were on until he realized that his eyes were in searing pain. 

"Hi."

Beast Boy saw—of all people—Raven, calmly pouring steaming water into a dark blue mug. At three o-clock in the morning.

He blinked to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. She was still there, by the microwave, a perfect picture of death warmed over. "Raven?"

"That would be my name." She responded dryly and grabbed a green mug off the counter. She handed it to him without bothering to actually look at his face. "It's hot chocolate." She mumbled and started to spoon ridiculously large helpings of sugar into her tea.

Beast Boy studied the cup of brown liquid suspiciously. It looked like hot chocolate. The shapeshifter looked guiltily up at Raven—the empath was still buried in Operation Stimulant. He quickly changed his nose into that of a bloodhound's and sniffed the drink. It smelled like hot chocolate.

"What's in it?" He asked eventually.

"Arsenic. Do you want it or not?" Raven stopped adding sugar and began trying to stir the granulated sludge that was more sweetener than tea.

Beast Boy sipped the hot chocolate anyways. He burned his tongue.

"Watch out, that's hot."

"Thanks." He muttered. "Can we sit down? I'm really tired."

"Sure." She gave up trying to stir the mixture and sat, not bothering to look up as Beast Boy collapsed on the chair across from her. The shapeshifter muffled a yawn. Raven's only response was to make a face at her tea.

"I'm tired." Beast Boy said and let his head fall onto the table. It clunked on the linoleum harder than he had expected.

No comment from Raven. Odd. That little remark left him wide open for a sarcastic barb. And she generally got nastier when she was tired.

"So…" Beast Boy said eventually, to break the silence, "Why aren't you in bed?"

Raven blanched, presumably because of the amount of sugar in her tea. Normally she drank it black. Or brown. Or green. Or whatever color tea is without any junk in it. "Couldn't sleep." She muttered curtly after failing to suppress the gag reflex. "Are you going to drink that, or what?"

Beast Boy considered heading back to his room, but the tabletop was cool against the sweat on his cheek, and it seemed to have some kind of built-in magnet that kept his head down.

Plus, even if she was not exactly the best of company, at least she was there. He would rather put up with her insults than go back to his room. Tonight, anyways. It had been a half hour since he had woken up sobbing. He had tried to fall back asleep, but whenever he closed his eyes, he could see her face staring right back at him, one sky blue eye showing--

Raven slammed her mug against the table. "Hey, Beast Boy…" He raised his eyes to see that the empath was hiding in the shadows of her hood, "You know that movie you said was an American classic that I had to see before I died or else the universe would explode?"

Beast Boy was too tired to shrug his shoulders, so he settled for grunting. The last thing he needed was for her to make yet another crack about _Clash of the Planets, the Movie_.

Raven focused on her now empty mug briefly, using her powers to levitate it into the sink. "Since I really don't have anything to do, and you just got suckered into buying yet another edition of the film, you want to—"

"For the last time, it's version 3.4 of the director's cut. Gold, Raven. I was so not suckered." He raised his head and tried to push away from the table, until what she said clicked. "Umm, are you offering…?"

She shrugged. "Just say yes before I come to my senses."

"I'll make the popcorn!" The shapeshifter yelled and ran to the cupboard.

* * *

"I'm cold." Beast Boy whined. 

"Then drink the hot cocoa already." Raven retorted. Trying to sort out the plot of this movie was hurting her head.

"Raven, that doesn't help you if you feet are freezing."

_It doesn't help that the volume is on so low I can barely hear what they're saying._ She thought to nobody in particular. _Now is Starrunner the one with the spiky blue hair, or the one with the spiky green hair? Jedii, hah, that rhymes with Yeti._ Raven blanched. _I can't believe I just thought that. _

"Raaaaaeeeven, I'm coooold."

_So am I. Deal with it._

Out loud, however, she said "Robin won't pay to heat any of the rooms we're not using. You know this place's heating bill is a nightmare. Nobody uses the living room at night, so Bird Boy lets it freeze. Even in February."

"But I'm cooooold, Rae."

"Then change into a polar bear." She spared a glance in his direction. The only light in the room was what was coming out of the television--it made his face turn a pale teal.

Beast Boy snorted. "I can't keep a form for long when I'm this tired. Besides, I'd break the couch again." The shapeshifter grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl on his lap and tried to cram it into his mouth, chew, and swallow. All at the same time. With his mouth open. _Munch nahm crunch squelch—  
_  
"Can you chew like a civilized human being, please?"

"Can you get me one of the spare blankets?"

"No."

"C'mon, Rae, you don't even have to get up. Just use your powers and drag them down. Please?" Beast Boy morphed into a kitten, almost overturning the bowl of popcorn, and started to claw at her cloak and mew. Raven snapped her arm to the side out of reflex.

"In the state I'm in I'd probably accidentally rip the door off its hinges." She continued blithely, well aware of the kitten's pathetic wail as it went flying.

Beast Boy morphed back into human form. "Have it your way, animal killer." He muttered and stretched an arm out for the popcorn. He was just about to bury his gloved hands in it again when it turned black and zipped to the other side of Raven.

The shapeshifter's jaw dropped. "You so did not just take my popcorn."

"Stupid and delusional." She said to the television. "Great combination."

"Raven,_ you__ just took my popcorn!_" Her only response was to toss a small handful into her own mouth and start chewing. "You do know what this means, don't you?" He hissed and shoved his face within inches of her own.

"That I can watch the stupid movie, for lack of a better word, in peace?"

"Not quite." He said, leaning even closer. "It means war!"

And with that, he wrenched the bowl out of her hands and jumped back, narrowly avoiding a blast of dark energy.

"Too slow, Rae!" He whooped and ducked behind the couch, clutching his prize to his chest. He noticed in an off-hand sort of way that about a third of the bowl's previous contents were now on the floor, but decided to worry about it later.

"I have news for you, booger brain." Raven hissed as she phased through the sofa. He didn't wait to find out what the news was, instead opting to use her as a springboard and jump over the couch while she was still half-way in and half-way out of her portal.

"Run run run, as fast as you can!" He shouted and sprinted forward at a speed to make Kid Flash jealous. He looked over his shoulder to see how close he was to escaping and consequently slammed into the television screen. Baron Rang was advancing on a cornered Starrunner, saying "No, Lewis. I AM--"

"I'm going to ask you this once." His worst nightmare said in an even monotone as she floated to a halt just a few feet in front of him. "Give me. The popcorn."

On the screen Starrunner yelled "NOOOOOOOOO!"

Raven's gaze flicked to the television. "What happened?"

"Only the best line ever." Beast Boy retorted as he darted past the psychic. He made it for about five paces until a blast of dark energy rammed him into the carpet, sending the bowl flying.

"I win." Raven's voice came from above him. "What the—"

Under normal circumstances Beast Boy would have pushed himself to his feet, but at the moment the room was spinning and he didn't want to chance it.

"It's empty." She growled. "Beast Boy, you idiot--"

He gathered the last of his strength and kicked her legs out from under her. He heard a yelp and a satisfying _thud. _They were both way too tired. She rarely lost her balance that easily, and anyways, she could fly. It was usually only when she was in extreme pain that any villain managed to make her fall. He closed his eyes--he would get up in a minute, and then they were both going to bed.

"You know," Raven said eventually, "Robin is going to kill us when he finds all the popcorn on the floor."

Beast Boy didn't answer.

"Beast Boy?" She propped herself up on one elbow and looked over at her friend.

He was curled up into a ball with his gloved thumb stuck in his mouth. Fast asleep.

The girl smirked. "How adorable. Come on, let's go." Raven crawled over to him, pausing long enough to heft him upward and loop her arms under his own. The green boy protested the change of positions in a half-hearted stream of babble.

"Shut up." She grunted and dragged him towards the couch. "I don't want to risk using my powers for anything substantial when I'm this out of it. I cracked the sofa's frame in half by accident when you vaulted off of me, you know." She paused by the table to grab the remote and turn off the movie. "You were suckered."

He was heavier than she had been expecting. By the time Raven managed to haul the boy onto the couch she wasn't entirely sure if she could make it up the three floors to her own room. It took all the strength the Azarathean could muster to collapse on the couch next to the slumbering teen, and when he wrapped both arms around her like she was some giant teddy bear, Raven was almost unable to pry herself out of his grip. "Almost" being the key word in that sentence.

"You're shivering." Raven noted. After a minute's hesitation she unclipped the broach on her cloak, tugged it off her shoulders, and draped it over Beast Boy. He stopped shaking instantly and even dared to grab her arm, grumbling something in his sleep.

"Sweet dreams, Beast Boy." Raven said and pulled her hands away. "Or else. You wake me up one more night in a row, and I'll put you to sleep permanently." As she settled into the couch, she mumbled, "And I hope in the name of Azar that Cyborg doesn't wake up before us. Who knows... what he'll do... if..." The girl was out before she could finish contemplating exactly what Cyborg _would _do if he was the first one to lay eyes on the wreck of the common room in the morning.

Lucky for her, she got to find out first hand the next day.

* * *

Yep. Questions, Comments, Concerns? I really am still not sure whether I should have turned this into a bag of oneshots or not, so any input on that would be helpful.

* * *


	3. Underestimating is Easy

_A/N: _You guys seemed okay with the oneshots idea, so here's more! Hope you like this next one, it's longer than I intended. Again. Anyways, I have a shameless plug to make--I heard the song "Burn Out Bright" by Switchfoot, thought it fit Terra perfectly, and therefore searched YouTube to see who had turned it into a music video for her. And low and behold, nobody had! So I made my own to pass the time. A link's in profile, check it out if you want.

On with the story!

_This is set after "The Prophecy" but before "The End"._

* * *

Nobody had ever accused Trigon of being nice. But she had never, _never _been put through something like this before. There wasn't much like waking up from a nightmare, feeling the stink of evil so heavy in your room you couldn't breathe, and knowing that if you closed your eyes there was going to be an even more horrific one waiting. The only thing that could compare was "waking" up from a nightmare, realizing that all your muscles felt like lead (including your eyelids), and having something strangle you until you forced out a scream. That seemed to be Trigon's favorite. She had never figured out if she was asleep when that happened, or awake. She didn't have bruises around her neck, so she assumed that she must be sleeping at the time. 

Well, if that _thing_ thought she was going to give in because of extreme sleep deprivation, then he had another thing coming. Never.

"She's not going to like it." Robin said in a hushed tone of voice.

Raven pulled up short of the common room.

"Can you think of anything better?" Cyborg shot back, in an equally hushed tone of voice.

_Please, no._

"It's gonna help, I know it." Beast Boy added.

"Raven will understand." Starfire put in.

_PLEASE, no. _

Raven sucked in a deep breath and tried to ignore the feeling of being kicked in the stomach. _Well, you knew it was coming. _She shot at herself viciously. _From the day you stepped into their lives, you knew. _

"She's not going to like it." Robin repeated.

"Please, Robin. It is for the best." Starfire said gently.

_Well, that just did me in. _Raven thought to nobody in particular.

He must have been given the look from the other Titans, because she could hear him audibly sigh. "Fine."

Raven steadied herself and stepped into the room. All four of them flinched as she entered and fell dead silent. None of them would meet her eyes. Except Beast Boy.

"Raven--" Robin began, pushing himself away from the table.

Raven swallowed the scream that was rising in her throat. _This is it._

_They're sending me away._

It was perfectly understandable. Now that they knew who she really was, who wouldn't? And the prophecy—they knew about the prophecy. Of course they would ask her to leave.

"We—Are you alright?" Robin paused a few paces away from her. "You're really pale."

Oh dear Azar, she would never see any of them again. No more of Robin's ridiculously long training practices, no more of Starfire's shopping excursions, no jokes from Beast Boy, no more hours of working on the T-car. Azar help her, when had she gotten so attached to them? When had she started thinking about the Titans as if she would be with them forever?

She knew her eyes were probably at least four times wider than normal, but didn't bother trying to hide it. Compared to what she felt like doing, wide eyes were an achievement.

_I'll go back to Azarath. _Her knees shook and she thought for a moment that she was going to hit the floor. Azarath, where everyone avoided her like the plague. Azarath, where even her own mother never wrapped her in a hug, never tried to make her smile. Azarath, where everything was beautiful and cold. Like an ice sculpture. She would freeze to death back there.

Robin closed the distance between them and put his hands on her shoulders. "Raven, what's wrong?" Something within her wanted to be angry at him for showing such concern when he was sending her away, but she couldn't work up enough enthusiasm to entertain such a thought for long.

"Nothing." She said, and was surprised that a thunderbolt didn't come out of the sky and strike her down for telling such a huge lie. "I'll go pack, I can be out of here by lunchtime."

She tried to pull away, but Robin's grip on her shoulders didn't loosen. She couldn't force herself to knock his hands away, and hated herself for it.

The universe was falling in around her. She thought, for a moment, that perhaps there should be some kind of sound to go with it—an explosion, maybe, or a scream—but there was just silence. And Robin's mask, creased in obvious concern.

"What are you talking about?" He said, and she was startled to pick up some anger in his voice.

"You've all come to your senses and have decided to send me away, now that you know what I really am." She said in an expressionless voice that couldn't belong to her. She couldn't act that calm when the whole universe was ending, could she? "I can be out of here by lunchtime."

_I'll be out of here by lunchtime. _The thought made all the strength disappear from her legs, and she realized that if it weren't for Robin gripping her shoulders, she would probably be on the floor. Her throat clenched and she started to shake—she let her head fall forward. _I'll be out of their lives by lunchtime. Dear Azar, why am I so attached to them? When did that happen?_

"Raven, we're not sending you away."

The silent roaring in her ears stopped.

"You—you're not?" She looked up and felt the galaxies screech as they pulled themselves out of their crash course.

Robin shook his head.

She looked over his shoulders and realized that at some point all her other friends had pushed themselves away from the table.

"What, you think we're going to make you leave because you're destined to blow up the universe?" Beast Boy snorted from behind Robin. "Eh, it takes worse than that, let me tell you." _You idiot. _She thought at him, wondering where the fuzzy feeling in her stomach was coming from. _You're going to get yourself killed one of these days._

"We're going to fight this thing, and win." Cyborg said at her left.

"We are your friends, Raven." Starfire's voice came from her right with a firmness Raven did not know was possible. "To treat you badly for your father's crimes would be unacceptable."

"Raven, we're in this together." Robin's grip on her shoulders tightened. "We _will_ stop Trigon, and you're going to be there with us."

Her brain finished processing what they said. She felt a warmth crash over her body and well up in her throat.

"Thank you." She managed to say. That was completely inadequate, but she doubted the English language contained the words for what she wanted to tell them.

"I think it is time for the grouping of hugs, is it not?" Starfire said after a wonderful eternity, the smile she was wearing showing in her voice.

Robin answered her question by wrapping Raven in a tight embrace. The girl found that her face was being shoved into red spandex, which did not have the most pleasant smell in the world, and that she didn't care. For one of the few moments in her life, she felt _safe_ with Robin's arms around her and his chest under her face. Like even Trigon couldn't get to her now.

_This must be what having a good father feels like. _The (small) part of her brain that was still functioning said. _That's probably pretty unhealthy, adopting a boy barely older than you as your father figure. Especially if it's a boy who wears spandex in bright colors and spends his spare time beating up thugs. Oh well._

Starfire giggled and Raven felt Beast Boy crash into them from behind. The shapeshifter had tried to reach his arms around both Robin _and_ Raven simultaneously, and as a result was crammed into her body far too close for comfort. And she thought Robin had smelled bad.

Starfire swooped in for the kill, wrapping her arms around all three of them and picking them off the floor. Cyborg's cool metal arms were around the group next, and Raven realized that her feet weren't touching the ground and that she could barely breathe from the pressure of the four of them around them.

She managed to tell them so, but the only reaction she got was that Beast Boy hugged her tighter and Starfire giggled.

At some point in time they put her down and she was able to maintain a shred of her dignity by making a comment about Beast Boy's odor. Cyborg went off to fix breakfast, Starfire grabbed Raven in an extra hug for good measure, Robin smiled lightly to himself and made some comment to Cyborg, and Beast Boy tried out his latest joke on Raven. She didn't laugh.

"So, what were you guys talking about, then?" She asked after everything had returned to some level of normalcy.

Robin turned red. "Umm, I don't think you know this, but we're pretty sure that… umm…"

"We made you this." Beast Boy said and handed her a dreamcatcher. "Me and Robin both were having some pretty bad dreams—"

_Oh. Whoops._

"And we figured you were too, because of how bad you've been fighting."

_It was that noticeable?_

"Robin thinks your empathy lets you project your dreams as well as pick up on others, because I talked about it with him and he was having the same bad stuff I was. And you have like, this, special connection mind-meld bond thingy with Robin, and my room is right next to yours, and, umm…"

"We don't know if it'll help." Robin put in, "But we couldn't think of anything better."

Her hands closed around the dreamcatcher. "It just might. Thanks."

She disappeared off to her room. The main hoop was a circle of dried vines that had been dyed dark blue, and the webbing woven through the hoop was made out of four different threads. One red, one green, one orange, and the last was sky blue. Dreamcatchers were only supposed to be made out of one thread, but somebody had managed to link the four different pieces of string together and still maintain the proper pattern. Robin must have done his research. A single white piece of string dangled down from the middle, and tied to the end of that was a feather so dark a green that it was almost black. It was probably a raven's feather. A green raven. Beast Boy.

She couldn't help but admit that it was beautiful as she hung it over her bed.

_And you thought that they would send you away. _

* * *

I came up with one line--_Raven didn't know that her empathy projected nightmares as well as received them until the day Beast Boy handed her a horribly made dreamcatcher after breakfast_--and ended up turning it into a 1.9k word long story. Go me. 

Review! Shalla!


	4. Heaven's Light

_A/N_: Thanks for reviewing, everybody. Here's your next chapter. It's short. And unhealthily close to being a songfic. Oh well.I wasn't too happy with this one, but here goes...

_Set pretty much anytime..._

* * *

"_There's so many times out there, I've watched a happy pair of lovers walking in the night..." _

Beast Boy yawned and reached for the remote. Sure, cartoons were great, but_ The Hunchback of Notre Dame_ was more serious than anything else. The fair part was fun, but after the whole tomato-throwing scene it went downhill. And it wasn't like Beast Boy hadn't seen this movie thirty times before, anyways. Time to resume flipping.

"_They had a kind of glow around them."_

Definitely time to change the channel. Beast Boy was not in the mood to watch a sappy love song, thankyouverymuch. His gloved hand closed over where the remote should be and found… air. Crap.

"_It almost seemed like Heaven's Light…"_

The shapeshifter shot the television one last glare before turning his full attention to the little space of air where the remote should have been. There was nothing. Cyborg was going to kill him. Crap again.

"_I knew I'd never know that warm and loving glow,"_

He grabbed the couch cushion and ripped it from its rightful resting place. The remote hadn't slipped through the cracks, either. Crap crap.

"_Though I might wish with all my might…"_

Well, that wasn't the only place the remote could go run and hide. Beast Boy morphed into a gorilla and lifted the couch off the floor. A precursory scan under the couch revealed nothing. Except for Starfire's attempt at lunch last week. He slammed the sofa down on top of a tentacle that reached for his leg. Crap crap crap.

"_No face as hideous as my face was ever meant for Heaven's Light..."_

He was about to morph into a bloodhound when he saw Raven standing some distance away from him, watching the television.

"I'm trying to find the remote so that I can change the channel." He said quickly. She nodded, her eyes still on the screen.

"_But, suddenly, an angel has smiled at me,"_

Beast Boy paused and scratched the back of his head with one head. No comment?

"_And kissed my cheek without a trace of fright…"_

Oh, wait, he was looking for the remote. He morphed into a hound and started sniffing. Stupid violins. It was making it hard to think.

"_I dared to dream that she might even care for me, and as I ring these bells tonight… My cold dark tower seems so bright…"_

The remote wasn't under the table, on the floor behind the couch, or even on the floor as far as he could see. The shapeshifter morphed into human form and rubbed his eyes. He could have _sworn—_

"_I swear it must be Heaven's Light!"_

The bells and other dramatic instruments swelled in the background. Beast Boy groaned again. "Raven, have you seen the remote?"

She dragged her eyes off the television. "Yes, and you would, too, if you had half a brain. It's right there." She pointed to… the other side of the couch.

"Oh. Heh." He flushed. "It's always in the last place you look, right Raven?"

His teammate raised an eyebrow. "Of course. You would keep looking for something after you found it?"

"Depends on whether I recognized it in the first place or not." He retorted and shut off the television.

"…Right. Does he get the girl?"

"Who?"

"Elvis Presley." She droned and opened up a leather-bound tome that looked like it had seen far better days. "The man in the film, Beast Boy, who do you think?"

Oh, right, Hunchback movie. _How did that one end again…? _"Umm, no. She falls in love with some blond good-looking guy person thing. She never liked Quazi that way in the first place, she was just being nice to him because she felt sorry for him or whatever and he had a good heart." Raven stared at him with a face that was almost perfectly blank. He could never tell if that meant that she wanted to hear more, or if she was trying to put whatever came out of his mouth through a little filter in her head that translated it into Raven-speak.

"Oh, but he's all noble about it or whatever. There's this scene where Esmeralda and Captain Blond run up to him and are all like 'Oh, thank you so much for saving us, Quazi!', and he's like, 'Oh, you're welcome' and he kinda sorta makes them hold hands or something. So yeah."

"Sounds typical." She intoned in a much sharper tone of voice than usual. Raven exited stage left without further comment. Beast Boy turned around to glare at the offending remote.

It was almost as if... nah.

* * *

Yup. That's all, folks! 


	5. K'Norfkas

A/N: Yeah, here's your next one. Sorry if these are taking longer than usual, school comes before fanfiction and the homework load is obnoxious. I wrote two short ones, this time, and so decided to give in and order my oneshots just like everybody else. There's an uber short Terra one to start off with, and then a fluff one after that because it's better to finish the story up smiling. I apologize for the shortness again.

* * *

**Fear**  
_This one's set in between "Titan Rising" and "Betrayal"._

"What would you do if he were murdered?"

Raven's body went cold when Terra spoke the sentence. She desperately tried to convince herself that the chill was a result of being taken aback, of hearing one of the things she feared the most casually spoken about while she was trying to meditate. Because if that wasn't what the chill was, then it was a premonition. And it _couldn't_ be a premonition.

"Well?"

Raven opened her eyes and exhaled. Slowly. "Who are we talking about?"

"Beast Boy." The girl said without the faintest trace of a smile. Her eyes, which varied from indigo to sky blue depending on the lighting, were focused on the bay. Watching the water.

"Kill the person responsible."

"You'd try." Terra stretched her arms and sighed. "But it wouldn't bring him back."

There was that chill again. _Dear Azar, please, don't let that be a premonition._

* * *

**K'norfkas**  
_Set after Season 5._

Raven let a tiny smile of contentment play across her features. A book was open on her lap, but her eyes were currently straying from the page.

Beast Boy was seated on the floor across from her. He raised a blue-eyed baby over his head and slowly lowered the child down until the baby, known only as Teether to the Titans, was at chest height. In the meantime Beast boy blew puffs of air across the little child's face, making him giggle and clap his hands. "See, flying isn't so bad!" The shapeshifter told the baby.

"Funny boy." The toddler chortled, and instantly won Beast Boy's lifelong affection.

A young girl with blond pigtails sagged against Raven's side. She giggled and jabbed the empath in the arm. "Look at Teether's face."

Raven obliged. The little child's front tooth was showing as he laughed, and his eyes were pushed up into tiny upside-down blue crescents by his expression. Beast Boy's breath was knocking the boy's single lock of hair to the side.

"Beast Boy, I recently found out about a dimension inhabited only by cannibals and carnivores. You drop him and I'll cover you with barbeque sauce and send you straight there with a little sign that says 'I'm tastier raw'."

"Aw, it's perfectly safe, Rae. Isn't that right, little guy?" The shapeshifter tossed the baby up into the air, letting the child fly up out of his hands for the first time that day. Teether's face turned green and spewed the contents of his lunch all over Beast Boy's uniform.

"Flying makes Teether's stomach dizzy." Melvin explained.

Beast Boy sighed. "I guess I'm going to actually have to wash this now. How's the game, Timmy?"

The red-headed boy had managed to worm himself under one of Raven's arms. His eyes were glued to the television and a bit too dilated to be healthy, but so far videogames were the only thing that could keep him quiet for any substantial length of time. Timmy slammed a button in the middle of his Gamestation controller and the on-screen game paused. "Okay." He said quickly. "It's not that bad." Timmy hit the button again and his fingers disappeared in a flurry of motion.

Cyborg surveyed the scene with a barely suppressed smirk. Starfire was giggling to herself and making comments under her breath about "k'norfkas" and the traditional Tameranian way of getting engaged. Robin was eyeing the quintet with equal amusement, though he did a better job of keeping his thoughts hidden. The mask helped. "You know what they act like?" Robin asked as he helped himself to some extra-strength coffee.

"Of course." Cyborg answered. "I just have the sense not to say it."

* * *

Thanks for reviewing, everybody, I appreciate it.

* * *


	6. A Different Contract

**Authors Note:** Sorry for disappearing of the face of the earth. To make a long story short, I was grounded indefinitely. I'm back on for now, but updates will be spasmodic, few, and far between. Real life is pretty horrid right now. That is all. :)

* * *

**A Different Contract**  
_set after "Things Change"_

"Guys, come here!"

"What do you want, Beast Boy?" Raven asked. Starfire couldn't see her from the oven, but the empath did not sound very pleased.

"Just come here!"

Starfire turned the oven dial down slightly. "Friend Beast Boy, I do not wish to be of the rudeness, but the pudding of sadness will overflow if I do not continue to stir."

"Take as much time as you need, Star." Cyborg yelled from behind her. Then, in a lower tone, "What's up, B?"

"You'll see."

"What's on the paper?" Robin asked.

"Dude, hands off! Wait a minute, and I'll tell you!"

Oh X'hal. It would be another ten minutes until she could stop the stirring. Starfire sighed and emptied the pot's contents into the sink. It was a shame, wasting such good food.

"I am present, friends." Starfire announced, rather unnecessarily. Beast Boy was standing by the table, holding a piece of paper. The other Titans were present, as well.

"Get ready for the awesomest idea I have ever come up with." The shapeshifter nodded his head towards Cyborg. "Drumroll, please?" Cyborg nodded and started to pound his fists against the table--not hard enough to do anything other than make a sound and leave minor dents, of course. "It is the sweetest, most coolest stroke of genius ever, it will shock you all to your cores, and so, without further ado, I give you--"

"Fascinating." Raven grabbed the paper.

"Hey, Raven! Give it back!"

She unfolded the sheet and scanned the title. "…Contract?"

Beast Boy ripped the paper away from her. "Yeah, a contract."

_Contract: a formal or legally binding agreement, e.g. one for the sale of property, or one setting out terms of employment._ That did not make much sense, but neither did it lack sense so much that Starfire must be confused about the definition of the word. The other Titans looked confused as well, so it must just be that Beast Boy needed to do more of the explaining.

"I was thinking, and Terra said 'things change', you know? And, umm, I was like, 'Dude, okay, but some things _shouldn't_! And, they should change for the better, too!' So… I made this."

_THE OFFICIAL TEEN TITANS CONTRACT_

_I, Robin and whoever Robin will end up being and/or calling himself, promise to actually propose to my dream girl without spending fifty years getting up the guts to do it. I promise to never get so wrapped up in my work that I lose myself or go out and get myself killed. Ever. Ever ever. And I promise not to spazz and get a heart attack and die, or something._

_I, Starfire and whoever Starfire will end up being and/or calling herself, promise to never stop laughing all the time and to stay pure. I promise to fight for justice all the time, physically or not, because that's how I'll stay strong._

_I, Cyborg and whoever Cyborg will end up being and/or calling himself, promise to play videogames. I promise to not regret that I got all these totally awesome butt-kicking powers, and to use them for good. I promise to design that videogame I'm always talking about, if life permits. I promise to keep up with technology so that I don't get some killer virus of doom or get stuck in the Tower or something stupid like that._

_I, Raven and whoever Raven will end up being and/or calling herself, promise to smile once in a while. I promise to never become an emo turtle and lock myself away from everybody. This means that I promise to talk to people at least once a day. _

_I, Beast Boy and whoever Beast Boy will end up being and/or calling himself, promise _

A good deal of white space followed on the neatly typed page, then:

_We, the undersigned and whoever the undersigned will end up being and/or calling themselves, all promise to stay friends with each other forever, no matter what happens. _

At the bottom, each Titan's name was written, with enough space in between for their signatures.

"The blank space by me is so that you guys can write mine. Oh, and there's enough space in between you guys' so that you can add whatever you want. I added that bit about the will being and the calling because, we're superheroes, and we could like, change our name or something, and I still want it to be binding, so, yeah."

"You got a pen?" Raven asked.

"Oh, uhh, yeah." Beast Boy fished through his belt and found a ballpoint. Raven's nose crinkled a little at the teeth marks at the end, but she took it without comment.

She added "to _never to stop laughing and/or telling jokes. I promise to stay gold._" under Beast Boy's entry, and signed her name.

"Not that I like them, mind." She held out the pen to Robin. "Or that you're funny. It's just that if you did stop telling them, the Apocalypse would probably be upon us."

"Heh. Sure."

Robin added "_I promise to come up with better practical jokes, and to stay so forgiving._" and signed his own name. Beast Boy swallowed. The pen hovered over Robin's signature for a long time. He added another line beneath it. "Richard Grayson", it said. "For emphasis." The warrior held up the pen and glanced between Cyborg and Starfire.

Cyborg took it. "_I promise to buy that videogame Cyborg comes up with, and to keep on rocking._" "Cyborg", he signed, and then, under it, "Victor Stone."

Starfire hesitated. The most obvious thing, "never grow up", nobody had written. Except Raven, but she phrased it differently so that it did not mean "never grow up" but "stay gold", and Cyborg, who had done the same thing with "stay rocking". Raven was quoting a poem, Starfire knew, and that is how Starfire knew "stay gold" meant "never grow up", but Starfire doubted Beast Boy would know.

He already had grown up, in so many ways. He was a warrior, now, strong, able to stop a whole army where even Robin had failed. He had been hurt very deeply, and had lived. Maybe that was why nobody had written "never grow up", maybe it was because he already had.

Starfire wrote, "_I promise never to lose my hope and joy and innocence and fortitude and strength and compassion and selflessness. I promise to never to do the 'growing up', and lose these things._"

She signed her name, both the English translation and in her own language. She held out the pen to Beast Boy.

"Beast Boy", he wrote, and then, "Garfield Logan".

"So, it's like, official now." Beast Boy picked up the paper. "Raven, can you hex this thing so that we have to keep our word?"

She shook her head. "I can give you all some nasty side effects if you don't, but that's dark magic."

"Alright, never mind then. I'm going to go make a few copies of this and then laminate the original. Remember this, okay?"

_We will_, The Titans said.

"You better." The shapeshifter replied over his shoulder.

* * *

(The original version of this story included an army of trained attack gerbils.)

* * *


	7. Fin but in retrospect, not really

_A/N: Sorry for the wait. If you look at the story's title, you'll notice it says "Complete"--that's the truth. I don't think I'll update it again, or even be on here much. Real life. Sorry, for all of you. I appreciate everything, you guys, thanks so much for reviewing.  
_

_This oneshot is what you get when you watch Nevermore and Spellbound in quick succession at three in the morning, then can't sleep so sit down to right. I finished it at about 4:30am--I'm editing it as I type it up, of course. It's a weird one.  
_

_Oh, and for some reason, my pms aren't working. If any of you tried to contact me and I never responded, that's why. I think I might've blocked this site accidentally from my email account, which would explain things. I'm working on it.  
_

* * *

**Really Deep Down**  
_Set after Season Five_

There was no mistaking the path of rocks, or the fact that they were floating in the middle of a black and red sky.

"Raven's going to kill me!" Beast Boy screeched. No siree Bob, Raven's mind was never a good place to be.

Especially not _again_.

"But this wasn't even my fault." He continued on to whatever powers might be listening. "I got knocked through the Tower window by that... flying thing... and it just so happened to be _her _window," He sidestepped a rock and headed for the nearest arch, "And I went straight through her dresser, which hurt a lot even if I was in elephant form, and then the mirror fell on my head and I am so dead!"

He passed through the arch and the landscape around him vanished. Which had happened before.

But this place was sure new.

Beast Boy found himself standing in the middle of a meadow, complete with millions of tiny flowers and knee-high grass. And the occasional white lily. There was a small rise ahead of him, out of which a huge, dark tree loomed over the entire scene. There was a small strip of sand on his left which faded into water, which faded into mist, and mountains on his right. The shapeshifter could see the arch ahead of him that would lead him out of this place, right past the tree, but didn't enter. There wasn't anything wrong with asking for directions, right?

Something moved over by the tree--it was Raven, he realized, but dressed in lavender. She looked right at Beast Boy, smiled, and waved.

The shapeshifter walked over and sat down next to her. He propped his back against the tree. She watched him with an odd smile flitting around her face, but didn't make any comments.

A breeze wafted off the sea and ruffled his hair. Beast Boy cleared his throat. "So." He said and fixed his gaze on the sea. "Which one are you?"

"I'm Raven." She said. "That's all."

The shapeshifter glanced over at her. The girl ducked her head a little. "Well, I know which one I am, but--just call me Raven, okay?"

"Well, you can call me Beast Boy." He announced back.

Almost-Raven laughed and gave him one of her _Beast Boy-You-Idiot _looks. "I know who you are, Gar."

_Oh, okay... wait, what?_

"Oh! Do you mind if I call you that? Raven is my real name, or I'd say mine and we'd be even, but--"

Beast Boy waved her away. "Nah, it's cool. That lake's really pretty, isn't it?"

"Ocean, and yes. It was broken a while ago, but it's much better now."

Almost-Raven rested her head on Beast Boy's shoulder and shut her eyes.

_"It is so possible to die from a stroke and a heart attack at the same time"_ was his initial thought about their sitting arrangement. But her face was so calm, and smiling so softly, that he didn't actually mention that she almost gave him a stroke. The really freaky thing was, after the initial shock, it didn't actually feel awkward. It felt... peaceful. Which was odd, since this should have been ten levels of wrong.

There was no horizon ahead--just gray water that melted into gray fog. And a strip of sand and a meadow filled with flowers. Beast Boy watched the flowers dance in the breeze without saying anything, and Raven didn't talk either. He hoped she hadn't fallen asleep there because--well, he didn't know why. It wasn't like he minded the warm weight of her head on his shoulder, exactly, but--he was actually getting really sleepy himself. It was probably the water.

"It's okay if you want to rest." Almost-Raven said. "It'll take awhile to find us anyways, we're really deep down."

Beast Boy opened his mouth to protest and ended up yawning.

The girl sighed and pushed herself off of his side. "Rest, Gar." He shivered. "Please? I know you're tired, and this is the perfect place for it.."

_Well, things are weird enough already. _"But I shouldn't _be _tired." He said and slid onto his back. "This isn't even my real body, right? It's all metaphorical junk."

She shrugged and stretched out onto the grass next to him. "I don't know how it works, exactly. Azar just gave me the mirror when I was little."

"Azar as in 'Azarath Metrion Zinthos'?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yeah." She brushed back his hair--caught sight of his expression, and drew her hand away as if she had been burned. "She took care of me, until she died. Head of all of Azarath, words don't describe her, really."

Beast Boy shut his eyes and focused on the sound of the rushing waves. "Cool." He said. Raven continued talking in a low monotone, but he drifted to sleep before he could understand any of it.

* * *

When he opened his eyes in the tall grass, his first thought was _I'm in Africa? _But the tree swaying above him was definitely North American, and he could hear Raven talking to herself. So he couldn't be there. Just _where _he was was another question.

"Well, wait until he wakes up, at least."

"No." It was Raven. Both of them. Beast Boy propped himself up on an arm and looked over the grass. _Oh yeah..._

Lavender Raven was talking with the real deal by the arch that lead out of this place. She was staring at the real Raven--real Raven could only keep her gaze for a few seconds before she broke away. "Fine." Real Raven mumbled.

"Thanks!" Purple noticed Beast Boy and broke into a light smile. He pushed himself off of the ground, stretched, and walked over to the two of them. Sleeping on the ground had never felt so good.

"Thanks for the quiet time and everything." He told Purple and extended a hand.

"Drop by whenev--"

"No." Raven said.

Purple sighed. "I know, I know. Just saying, if you do end up here somehow, stop by. Gar," Almost-Raven wrapped him in an embrace. "Thank you. For everything."

"No prob." He managed. Into her hair.

"I--" She choked on her own words, and instead just hugged him tighter. "Take care. I..." Silence. Lavender Raven sighed and pushed him back. She turned her back to him and said in a small voice. "Hope to finish that sentence, sooner or later. You'll never know how--goodbye." The girl floated over to her tree and sat without another word.

Beast Boy glanced over at Raven, the real one. She was a pasty shade of green. Not as dark as him, of course, but it was still pretty impressive. She noticed his look and set her face into the blank stare she always had. "We better go." She said, and walked through the arch.

"See you round, Rae!" He yelled at the girl. She nodded, but didn't look back at him. He walked through the arch.

"Who was that?" he asked Raven.

She shrugged.

* * *

_Yeah. I wanted to write up that little bit of Nevermore, it's always intrigued me--so I did. I've seen lots of stories where Affection just tackles Beast Boy to the ground when she sees him, but I thought she would be a bit more... collected? I dunno. It still came out short, on re-reading. Oh well. Thanks for coming along for the ride, everybody.  
_


	8. Timeline

* * *

A/N: This was so out of sync with the rest of the oneshots that I considered making it it's own story. You know how I said I had no time to write fanfiction because I had to work on my personal stuff and life kept kicking me in the head? Yeah, my nanowrimo got about 5k words and I ended up writing about 15k worth of fanfiction and 10k of original short stories over the course of the past month or so despite myself. It seems like a waste not to upload them while I can, so here's this one. A few more to come, the next update after this will be more in my usual style (with a heck of a lot of Wicked thrown in, OHMYGODBESTMUSICALEVERKTHANXBAI).

* * *

**Timeline**

_Every second in life some doors close, others open. Most we never notice. Others we miss._

She was fourteen, and she had received the stupidest gift in her entire existence.

Unless you counted her life as a gift, which she didn't.

The books/scrolls/tablets, the bed, the statues, the amulets, the dimension dust, the Components of various sizes and shapes, the dresser, the mirror, the other Artifacts, her clothes, and the communicator from Robin, were all stupid and even funny in an ironic sort of way. The futility of them all. None of the monks on Azarath saw the humor. You had to be a little twisted to see how giving a dimension's worth of lost and powerful spells to a teenager doomed to destroy the world at seventeen was funny, so she kept the joke to herself.

But this was different. It was totally nonsensical. It was pointless, and meant to be so. It was--funny, genuinely funny without even a bit of sarcastic irony behind it.

Beast Boy handed the stuffed chicken to her and grinned as if it was worth the universe.

Starfire screamed, a streak cut across the sky, and Robin's yell sounded somewhere above them all. Raven dropped the toy and did not look as it hit the muddy fairground. She flew away and told herself that she wasn't thinking about it at all.

It was on her bed when she got home. It looked like somebody had attempted to wipe the mud off without thinking to use water. Filth streaked down its neck.

He had gone in her room. They would have to talk about this later.

Raven glared at the chicken. It looked back at her with an entirely stupid expression, but she went to get a wet towel to clean it with anyways.

:

She was fifteen, and the room was ruined.

The bed was literally ripped into shreds. It was now a neat little pile of down and springs and dark blue against the far wall. The headboard was cracked in five places. Raven started seeing red whenever her eyes drifted over to her bookshelf, so she forced herself not to look. Raven focused instead on the shards of glass on the ground and pieces of fabric and the broken theater statue and the scraps of paper _pleasedon'tletthatbethebookofAzar_.

A breeze blew in through the shattered window and she shivered.

Some type of animal--a dog, maybe, trotted down the hallway behind her.

"Beast Boy," she said with her eyes shut because the red was starting to creep back again like tendrils around the corners of her vision and it was hard trying to find your center if you couldn't even find the floor under the rubble.

He didn't answer, but the animal stopped moving.

"My healing powers can take away emotional pain, too." She said, and it was the hardest thing she ever had to offer, because taking pain away was just that and it hurt to do. She turned around and floated out of her room--still with her eyes shut. When she figured she was safely in the hallway she opened them.

He grinned at her like she had just offered him the universe--that's what he was trying to do, at least, but his ears drooped a little too far and his eyes weren't in it.

"Thanks, Rae, but no thanks. I was just going."

He left, and she didn't stop him. She couldn't think back on the event without flinching.

:

She was sixteen, and had received the most painful gift in her entire existence.

Lies, she could use and abuse. She lived a lie. It worked. She would know, when there wasn't a next time. Lies were fine. Lies might burn and rip something inside of her that she didn't think she even had in the first place, but they taught and when there wasn't a next time, she would be on guard and she would walk away and she wouldn't be hurt. The lies weren't what bothered her.

Try as hard as she could, there was nothing she really could do with the paper rose. She toyed with the idea of burning it, just for the fun of watching the flames dance over the paper and the paper turn black as a dragon and crumple and die on the floor. This was so tempting it scared her. She thought about crushing the flower and throwing it away, which was undoubtedly the most logical course of action. Raven probably would have thrown it out, but a selfish part of her was glad. Even if it was just a paper bribe for her father's power, she still had earned a rose from _someone_.

The paper rose went in the closet, too, carefully protected inside an ornate box of rowan wood that was meant for storing the Mirror in. Her chicken glared at her with glass eyes that didn't see for weeks afterwards.

:

She was seventeen, and the world was ruined whether or not she got every gift in the damn universe.

She dropped the penny and didn't look as it touched the profane ground. Profane, not because a (the? she never could figure out for sure) devil was about to materialize above it. No, nothing like that. It was profane because it was shaped like her hand by workers who worshipped her like a goddess, once upon a time. The whole place made the human part of her (it seemed awfully small right now) gag and shudder.

Somewhere, between the white fire and ice and despair and tears and hurt and rage, she felt that this had happened, somewhere before. It was the most ridiculous thing, but she just had time to think _Maybe my mother felt a little like thi_

She was seventeen, she was free, and that damn chicken was still in her closet and somewhere, somehow, a penny had been taped to its beak. They really needed to have another personal space discussion. Later.

:

She was eighteen, and it was her birthday and he wasn't there. She didn't know why she noticed this, or why it bothered her. Antarctica was cold, damn Robin and his strategies. The fact that one person out of her odd little family wasn't present on this godforsaken day really wasn't anything. She shouldn't even have realized it, much less worried over it. She thought about calling. She didn't call. She wanted to call. Should she call? No. Stupid.

:

She called, damn whatever time zone he was in. It took a few seconds longer than normal to answer, his hair was ruffled, and wherever he was seemed to be totally dark except for the light built into the communicator. But he was grinning at her like she had just offered him the universe, and his eyes were in it all the way.

:

She was nineteen, and if he leant one inch farther forward their lips would've touched.

:

She was twenty-five, and she realized, in retrospect, that if _she _had leant one inch farther forward their lips would've touched.

:

She was twenty-seven, and it had never been just an inch.

:

She was too old, and a visitor asked her where the stuffed chicken in her closet had come from and why was a penny was taped to its beak (it didn't match the rest of her decor), she just laughed and said that once upon a time, somebody had offered her the universe.

* * *

Thanks for reviewin'.


	9. The Talk

_A/N: _Back to the shenanigans and tomfoolery of earlier chapters! Woo!

* * *

**The Talk**  
_Set anytime_

"Hey, do you want to have kids?" Beast Boy asked.

Raven choked on the tea she was drinking.

"Not with me!" He said and threw up his hands. "I meant in general."

"Why on earth would you ask a question like that?"

The shapeshifter sat down across from her. "Cyborg is driving somewhere and won't talk to me, Robin is researching Slade, and Starfire is training and I really don't want to spar against her when she gets like this. And I was playing Harvest Moon on Cyborg's emulator."

"Forget I asked." Raven muttered.

"Ten." Beast Boy said after a thoughtful pause.

"What?"

"I'm thinking ten kids. Kids are cool."

Raven decided that there was no appropriate response to that statement and it was probably all a hallucination anyways, so settled on emptying her tea in the sink and making for her room. Fast.

"Raven, you didn't say anything!"

"We are not having this conversation." Raven said and grabbed a book off of the counter. "Not now. Not ever."

"Aw, come on! It's not like I asked you--"

"Ever!" Raven spat out before he had a chance to finish that sentence. "Azar, Beast Boy, find something else to do with your time!"

"Rae…" He whined and trotted down the hall after her. "One, right? Or maybe two? Come on, wouldn't having little clones of yourself be awesome?"

"Azar help us." Raven breathed and decided that using her astral self was not totally uncalled for in this situation.

"I'm naming the first one 'rrrrrrrr'," He trilled a sound that was definitely not a part of spoken English, "Dane Cook's idea and I think it's an awesome one. And the second one is Ash Catsup. The rest will be Link, Peter, Sonic, Riku—"

Raven looked at him and tried to decide if he was being serious.

"Raven, your eye's twitching."

"You do understand that raising a kid is not the same as training a minion to take over the world, or leveling up a Pokemon, right?"

"What?"

"We are not having this discussion." Raven said again.

"See, you'd make a great mom. So responsible."

"Err." Raven said intelligently and tried to combat the mental images that statement provoked.

"So," He said in a tone of voice that was actually extremely serious, "Assuming you married Mister Right or whatever, and you were done with superhero work, would you even think about having one? Ever?"

"That would never happen." Raven said.

Beast Boy blinked. "Why?"

First off, Raven couldn't visualize any reality where the phrase "done with superhero work" would apply to her without the words "due to untimely death" right next to it. Assuming that The Prophecy was, in fact, just a drug-induced riddle that Azar had made the focal point of her entire nation for ten years and Raven would actually live past seventeen—assuming that there was, in fact, somebody who would propose to her (hah) and who she would actually say yes to when he did (hee hee)--then, assuming she had miraculously gained enough control over her powers to have _that_ without accidentally destroying a country, or worse, getting possessed by her father—

Raven tried to picture herself holding a baby with purple hair and eyes the same color.

"Rae? You look like your intestine just tied itself into a knot around your kidney…"

"The mind boggles."

"What?"

"You know what? Ten kids. I'd have ten kids. And their names would be Michael, Angela, Azar, Robert, Kori, Borris, Beatrice, Stupid, Smart, and Bob."

Beast Boy blinked. "Why Michael?"

"I like the name Michael."

"Ah."

"And we would all move to Kansas and have a white picket fence and a pet goldfish named Malchior. And we would farm the land and—you know what, no, we'd be Amish and my husband would be the pastor."

"The Amish don't have pastors. They think it's too elitist."

"We would be Amish Baptists." Raven said. "And I would buy a rainbow colored pony for each and every single child, they would all have blonde hair and blue eyes, and the Titans would all live on the farm with us. And Robin would play the fiddle for us at dinner and we would travel the world by covered wagon."

"And we would be married."

"Explaining why each kid would look nothing like either of us."

"Yes. But I'm naming the first one 'Rrrrrr'."

"As long as we have a goldfish named Malchior, I'm happy."

"And I'll be a billionaire for founding the next Comedy Central, so we'll just hop over to our private island which I redesigned to look like Hyrule as depicted by Ocarina of Time."

"Sure. And Angela will grow up to found a Catholic Religious Order."

"She always was the smartest one."

"Well then."

"What the hell are you talking about?" A voice from behind them asked.

This was how Raven learned that Robin had exceptionally good hearing, and a select few of the security cameras in the Tower recorded audio.

And that Robin had a Youtube account.

* * *

**Nightmares (part 2)**

_After "The Prophecy" and before "The End"_

Everything was broken, and Raven was happier than she had ever been.

Ruins. Lava. Statues, or corpses. Fire in the sky. A dead wind rattled the landscape, but no sound came but a scream and a laugh.

Raven grinned and looked out at this world she had twisted into existence.

_NononoNoNoNONONO—_

The voice stopped, cut off in a scream. Raven laughed and turned around.

A ruin towered above her. High, shaped like a T, broken and empty. Raven was so happy. It was all so hilarious, so utterly hilarious.

She blasted open the doors of the catacomb with a thought.

"Raven?"

She knew where they were, of course. It was easy getting there, and she was there, almost too fast. They were broken, and Raven was so happy.

"Raven!"

She bent down over a lump on the ground, wet and sticky and deliciously broken. A pool of red by its side, and a little yellow circle with a "T" emblazoned on the front. Floating in the red.

Something slammed against the back of Raven's head and the world disappeared into the dark.

"Raven, you were having a nightmare. It's okay." Beast Boy's voice came from somewhere in the blackness.

"I think I'm going to throw up." Raven whispered. Her blanket was wrapped tightly around her shoulders, twisted and choking her.

She felt somebody tugging at the blanket—she clawed her way out of it and swallowed the saliva that seemed to have flooded her mouth. "Azar help me."

"I was yelling your name and shaking you and stuff, but you weren't waking up and you were glowing, sorry I shoved you on the floor. You should think about keeping holy water handy."

Raven threw up.

"Ick." Beast Boy said. Light flooded the room and seared the back of her eyes. Her hands went up instantly to protect them and she hunched forward even further so that her forehead was practically touching her knee. Her hair fell in front of her face and her throat burned and her mouth was rancid and it smelled.

"Good thing all you had for dinner was tea, huh, Rae?" Beast Boy's hand went against her back. He reached out with his other one and pulled on her arm—she let him coax her into a sitting position. The light burned straight through her eyelids.

Raven knocked him away from her and braced her weight against her arms on the floor. She felt Beast Boy gather her hair out of her face and hold it at the nape of her neck. Her stomach heaved and she gagged, but there was nothing left in her stomach for her to throw up. Something warm and wet was against her hands—oh, just lovely—

Raven opened her eyes and found herself face to face with her own vomit. Which her hands were buried in.

She could hear Beast Boy yell "Dude!" From behind her.

_A lumpy, red heap was piled on the floor—_

"Shut up!" She hissed.

"Sorry." Beast Boy grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back from the pile. She turned around to look at him—how had he gotten into her room? "You're probably going to want to wash your hands." He said.

He only slept in the bottom half of his uniform, apparently. Which was still something. He wasn't wearing gloves, either.

Beast Boy noticed her gaze on his hands, flinched. He didn't have fingernails, but green claws that curled around the tip of each finger.

"Doesn't that make playing videogames hard?" Raven asked.

He blinked. "Umm, depends on the controller. Want to, umm, watch a movie?"

Raven glared at the contents of her stomach and levitated them out the window. "No, thank you. I'm just going to have some tea." She stood up and wandered into her bathroom—lights on, faucet on, soap. "And then go to bed." She added.

Beast Boy turned into a bull and mooed.

"Please leave my room." Raven said.

"You should sleep."

"Probably."

She came out of the bathroom to find a green lion sitting on the floor. It morphed back into Beast Boy. "Look. You're tired. I'm tired. Your nightmares suck. So."

"Deductive reasoning. I'm impressed."

"Thanks. Look. You and I both know that once you leave to 'get your tea' you'll be up until morning no matter what I do, because you'll phase through the ceiling when I'm distracted or use your powers to make me fall asleep and then you'll be distracted during battle and Robin will kick your butt for not taking care of yourself."

He was still sitting on his haunches on the floor of her room. Shirtless. Sometimes Raven hoped that the monks of Azarath were checking in on her, wondering what she was up to. Tokyo, for example, when everybody was cheering her on as a hero. She really hoped the monks had been watching that, somehow. This was not one of those times. "I never used my powers to make you fall asleep. But that's a good idea."

"So." Beast Boy said again.

Raven raised an eyebrow.

"You are going to go to bed."

"I'm not a child, Beast Boy. Get out of my room."

Beast Boy stood up. "No. Look, Raven, I'm sick and tired of you waking me up. Please, just get some rest, maybe if you slept more they wouldn't be so—"

"It doesn't matter!" Raven hissed and crossed the room so that his eyes were just inches from her own. "It's not just my brain, it's, my father! It doesn't matter how much I sleep, how relaxed I force myself to be which I can't because every time I meditate now he gets a little closer to possessing me. He is _not going to leave me alone_, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy's eyes where a dark, evergreen shade, as hard as marble. But around the rims of his iris there were rings and spires of mint. He glared up at her.

"Then neither am I." He said quietly.

She watched his mouth twist into a determined grimace and realized what he had really meant with all those _"so"_s.

"Out of the question. Out."

The eyes fell and shifted into deep black with a rim of green, and a lion stared up at her. She glared at it. It glared at her. She sighed.

She was so tired. She was still trembling. She was sick, she was tired, _why did he have to be like this? _She didn't want to go make tea or pretend to read or look up at the stars, she wanted to crawl under the covers and never wake up again.

Raven sighed again and walked around the lion to get to her bed. She turned off the lights with a thought and crawled onto the mattress. She settled under the covers in the darkness and tried not to picture the bright red against the blue. The foot of the bed sank under a sudden weight. "For Azar's sake, Beast Boy, not in my bed with me!" She hissed and kicked out. "That's not even close to funny."

The weight vanished. Something padded along the floor right over the edge of the bed, where she was sleeping. Beast Boy settled there in a heap. Raven closed her eyes.

Red flashed across her eyes and blood and terror, she was wide awake—she heard the even breathing of something next to her, something human. She counted his breaths. It was almost like meditation, back when she still had to count her own. In, out. Simple. The red was gone.

"Thank you." She whispered. "Goodnight."

* * *

A/N: Nobody except Wicked fans like me will understand this next one. I am so sorry. Consider it a bonus chapter, I typed it after seeing the show and then for some odd reason I'm actually uploading it.... I can find nothing redeeming about this bit of work at all, I don't know what it's doing on here. I'm so sorry.

* * *

**Wicked AWSUM **(part 1)

_Oh God, yes, there is a part 2._

He was dyeing main street red with his blood, and he was _chanting. _"Eleka nahmen nahmen atum atum eleka nahmen!" Beast Boy yelled. "Sing it with me, Rae!"

Raven doused his neck with a burst of healing energy, gritted her teeth as the pain flowed through her body, and breathed out and expelled the white hot _hurt _from her being. Glass. He had been punched through a glass window by that damn what's-his-name (Johnny Smelly? Rubert Rancid?) and had sliced an artery, damn it.

"Eleka nahmen nahmen atum atum eleka, eleka—"

"Beast Boy, shut up!"

The wound closed. He stopped bleeding. He would live, thank Azar.

"Hey, look, my blood is red." Beast Boy looked at the puddle forming underneath him and giggled. "I think it's funny that it's such a normal color, doesn't it seem like it should be weird like the rest of me?"

Raven's communicator bleeped. She flipped it open.

"We captured Johnny Rancid."

"Beast Boy will live. Unfortunately."

"I love you too!"

The crease in between Robin's eyebrows vanished. "Good." He breathed. "What's his condition?"

Raven glanced down at him. He was drawing in the street… with his own blood…

"A little dizzy from the blood loss, muscle bruises up and down his arms when he landed, minor cuts and scratches still bleeding."

"You take him to the med bay, then. Robin out."

Raven glared at the black screen and snapped her communicator shut. "Beast Boy? I'm going to transport you. Alright?"

He looked up at her and grinned. "Cool, ice. Numb it up a bit."

She was upset he thought her soul self was cold enough to numb physical wounds a second before she realized how much pain he must have been in to want to be thrown into a tub full of ice. Then she regained her senses. Nothing bothered her. Neither of those two statements had any bearing on her emotions at all. Of course not. _Azarathmetrionzinthosazarathmetrionzinthosazarathmetrion..._

They sailed into the Tower in seconds, Beast Boy was strapped down, and Cyborg started ordering Raven to do something with gauze and antibiotics.

"Eleka nahmen nahmen atum atum eleka nahmen!"

"What are you chanting?" Raven hissed and used a bit more peroxide than absolutely necessary.

"A spell from the Grimmorie."

"Well sto—which one?"

"The one that turns Fiyero into a scarecrow." He said matter-of-factly.

"Not… which Grimmorie."

Beast Boy tried to say ten things at once and ended up squealing instead. "The Grimmorie is real?" He managed to choke out after a puase.

"Grimmorie is just an old name for compendium, an extremely common name for ancient literature." Raven said. The type of literature that was bound in human skin, true, but he didn't need to know that. "The spell sounds like some bastardized form of Latin. How on earth did you hear it?"

"Wicked, derr."

Raven blinked.

"You know, Wicked, the musical?"

"Oh. Fiction. Should have guessed."

"Oh my God!" Beast Boy jolted up in bed and sent a tray of tools flying. "You've never seen Wicked!"

"What? No, not—"

"Oh my God! How could you _not_? Raven, you're you! It was even based on a book!"

"Grass stain," Cyborg growled and glared at the new mess on the floor.

"Umm. I don't really read modern fiction."

Beast Boy's face was covered in blood, and his eyes were so wide the whites were visible all the way around. It was disturbing on more than one level.

"Oh my God! But you are so Elphaba except really sarcastic and not insecure at all, well, maybe you're not Elphie but you're still a witch that people think is bad but not really, and, Galinda and friendship and crap, and, the dragon, and, and Fiyero, and, and, and, WICKED! It's so GOOD, and you're you and you've NEVER SEEN IT! OH MY GOD!"

"Beast Boy!" Cyborg yelled. "Lie down! You are bleeding all over my exam table, and you're screaming because Rae hasn't seen some crappy musical?"

Beast Boy hissed as if Cyborg had just slapped him. "I will pretend you never called it that." He said in a monotone voice that made the hair on Raven's neck stand up.

"It's based on a book?"

Beast Boy's face lit up again. "Dude, by Gregory MaGuire. I only started it, there's a whole lotta words, you know? It's about the real story behind the Wizard of Oz—"

"Starfire made me watch that." Raven murmured. "It was unpleasant."

"Yeah, but Wicked is so not! Unpleasant, I mean. It's all about Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, and Galinda, the Good Witch, and Nessarose and Fiyero which is so totally me by the way, and the music, and the sets, and—that's it." Beast Boy stood up and crawled out of the exam table, still bleeding. "You're seeing it. Now."

"Beast Boy—"

"Of course, the Broadway run is over and Idina and Chenoweth quit years ago, so that sucks for you because they were the best pair ever. Too bad Taye Diggs got to Dee before me, dude, I'm sure she of all people wouldn't have minded the green. Her on "Defying Gravity"…"

"Beast Boy."

He tried for the handle, but the blood against his palms made his hands slip against the cool metal. "Shoshanna was close, of course, some people even say better though I strongly disagree because Idina Menzel is Idina Menzel and there is no rivaling the total beyond awesomeness of Dee, God I love her damn Diggs, anyways, Shoshanna's gone too, but that's okay! Because it's still WICKED, dude, you'll love it, Rae, honest."

"Beast Boy! We're not done. We haven't even started bandaging you yet."

"Oh." Beast Boy stopped and looked down at his tattered form. "That explains all the pain I'm in right now. And the blood. But Rae!" He spun around and grabbed her shoulders. "You promise me you'll come see Wicked with me, sometimes soon? Pretty please?"

A lock of hair was matted against his forehead with grime and maybe blood. So much blood. They would have to transplant some of the earlier samples they had taken from him and frozen, she knew that without any medical training at all. He hated needles.

"Alright. Just get in bed."

"Hell yes!" Beast Boy did an air guitar solo and screamed "Life's more painless for the brainless, why think too hard when it's so soothing? Dancing through—"

"Bed, Beast Boy!" Cyborg yelled and shoved him onto the exam table by force.

Beast Boy giggled. "This is going to be _so cool!_ WICKED!"

* * *

That's all, folks! Review?


	10. Mother

_AN: Life owns my soul. Haven't watched Teen Titans in a few months, so this is probably all horribly out of character, I'm writing from memory. I read the book Wicked, by Maguire, and cried for about a half hour, recommended for anyone who doesn't mind tragedy, smut, and bad characterization for the sake of beautiful prose and a hard theme. (I identify so much with Elphaba it's not even funny, and I'm only sixteen. Teenagers shouldn't be able to identify with such broken women.)_

* * *

**Castle on a Cloud**

_Set a decade or so before Go!_

Raven was pressed flat against the pillar. The sun lit the floor gold through the windows--gold, bright gold dusting the walls and the ceiling and everything except Raven. Gold, totally unlike Raven in just about everything. It was beautiful, the way the deep purple tiles soaked it up. Even the way it reflected and glinted off of Raven's cold skin was gorgeous.

It was wrong, what she was doing, it was--it was _evil_. Azar would be upset. She would look at Raven and nothing in her face would change except her eyebrows would slant down and the skin would crease in between them.

Still. Nobody was watching.

Raven darted across the hallway, a stretch of deep purple tiles and simple dark arches, and jumped off the balcony. She focused, and she lifted up over the street below. It was an alley disguised as a courtyard and the sun didn't touch any part of it beneath the high walls of the Temple. All dark green and all shadows.

The toe of her boot brushed the sandstone of the wall and soon her hand bumped against it and her body was forced to stop its forward glide. She let herself hang in the air and focused, again, so that her body lost feeling and the wall lost it's hardness. A push forward and she was through, hanging in the ceiling of a room that was full of hangings and arches and shadows. It was a deep tile floor, coated in a few places with deep red rugs, left in its bare blackness in others. Raven hid in the shadow of the arched ceiling and breathed.

A bowl, big enough to hold soup for fifty and made of gold rested in the center of the room. It was full of something that looked like water, and Azar had spent twenty minutes describing all the divining possible with it just yesterday. Raven didn't look at it twice. It was the woman standing as far away from it as the hall allowed that Raven watched.

She was tall, and thin. Unnaturally so. Her wrists were pinched, like her eyes and nose. One hand, made of long, thin fingers, was splayed against the window and her breath fogged the glass.

She had to be the one.

Her hair was purple and her eyes were the same color. Light purple. This bothered Raven. The woman was supposed to have been human. But there had to be a story there. An explanation. The purple didn't matter.

The woman shifted from the window, sighed, and hid her hands in the sleeves of her robe. The view she wanted wasn't there anyways, Raven knew. She wasn't sure how she knew. Everything about the woman just screamed it. What she wanted to see couldn't be found from any panoramic Azarathian skyline.

To talk was to be caught, to have Azar's almost-frown. To have her evilness proven, again. To stay quiet was another night of staring at the ceiling, wondering.

The woman hummed something in the back of her throat. Her voice--it was the first time Raven heard it. Low, faltering. The melody was simple, repetitive, desperate. The woman walked across the rug in long strides. The volume of the melody broke until the woman was singing, forming words that Raven couldn't catch. It wasn't a chant. It was something else. Something that made the hair on Raven's neck stand up. It was about the ocean, and stars, and a child. The woman was quiet, too quiet for Raven to catch everything from the ceiling. Raven didn't dare move closer.

The woman paused at the bowl and looked in. The water was glass smooth, and bright silver. It reflected the woman's face up to Raven. Delicate, slim eyes and a box chin. Raven met the eyes in the water, and the woman ended on a soft, low word.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" The woman asked, and everything inside Raven jerked forward, as if to run, and then stopped.

Raven blinked and the woman blinked back in the reflection of the pool.

"Yes. I am wicked." Raven announced, and waited for the woman. It seemed like her future waited with her, for this stranger's verdict. Guilty, or not guilty. Defendants in murder cases couldn't feel any less anticipation.

The woman looked away. "They say that." Rich as well as low, and raspy, too.

Hope, wondering whether or not to dare. Had the woman given her an affirmative? Probably. But not quite. "Do you--do you think so?"

The woman turned around and looked up at Raven. She lowered her hood, and Raven noticed what she hadn't, before. The hard lines of her cheeks, the dark red lips. "I don't know." She whispered. "You're as much my daughter as his."

Mother.

What was your favorite color? Did you ever want to be an animal, when you were little? To run away? What did you want to be when you were older? Did you ever fall and scrape your knee? Did you cry? What type of music did you like? Was your father nice to you? Did he have a scratchy beard, and did you look into his eyes because they were beautiful? What's your favorite color? What's your favorite story? Mine is about a daughter and a garden, Mother, but it has the wrong ending. What was your first memory? Did you ever see the ocean? Did you ever wish on a star? Mother, I do every night. Azar says--

Azar says I shouldn't ever ask you things like that, Mother. Azar says that I would hurt you and you would hurt me. Azar says I can't feel to train, to live. Azar says that all the time, Mother. She must be right.

I am evil, Mother. Because I hate what Azar says.

The door burst open, and Azar was standing in the doorway. She looked at Raven, and at the woman, and the little crease in between her eyebrows surfaced. "Arella," she said gently.

I am evil, Mother. Because, sometimes...

The woman's face lit bright red and she ducked into a bow. The purple hair spilled across her face and Raven sighed. She sank until her feet brushed the tiles. She let go of the air, and all of the strength of gravity gripped her and tugged her to the ground.

Azar glided across the tiles, all high forehead and flowing blond hair and white robes. "Please finish washing the statues in the temple."

"Yes, Azar." Arella, Mother, stood upright. She opened her mouth to say something to Raven.

"Raven, I will escort you back to your room." Azar's hand was bony, and firm, and wrinkled. Raven could feel it through her robe, closed tight as a vice or a heart around her arm.

Arella closed her mouth and looked away.

...sometimes, Mother, I hate Azar, too.

* * *

And now, for the bit nobody except Wicked fans will want to read. I make a cameo in this chapter, and I'm not the saleslady. Guess where? xD

* * *

**Wicked, part 2**

_dun dun DUUUN_

"Want!" Beast Boy yelled. Robin growled and tightened his gloved hands into fists. The lobby was crowded, people kept pouring in, and worse, people were _staring. _At Robin's mask, a little—he had the sense to put on normal clothes for the play, but the mask hadn't come off in public for years and now was not any excuse to start. Robin got stares, but the majority of the whispered remarks were aimed at Cyborg or Beast Boy. The crowd pressed in on them, and the clerk behind the souvenir counter dropped a box full of snowglobes when she saw Beast Boy. He was dressed in a tux, of all things, his hair immaculately clean and gelled in neat spikes. It didn't suit him.

"I can't afford any of this crap!" Beast Boy yelled at nobody in particular.

"Shut up and buy something." Raven hissed. Her hair and pale skin got no more than a passing look, not after the boy with the rainbow mohawk checked in.

"Hey, want one of the Defying Gravity t-shirts, Rae?"

"I wear t-shirts… when?"

Steel City, unlike Jump, had a theatre. The musical was showing on the day Beast Boy had mysteriously suggested visiting Titans East. Wayne Enterprises had fitted the bill—third row back, dead center seats.

"The witch hat necklaces are seventy five bucks each, Rae. Give me something to work with."

Raven's reply was inaudible over the sound of some random teenage girl clapping for Beast Boy and asking him to be the father of her children.

"Nonsense, of course you want something. Hmm, okay. One Dancing Through Life t-shirt, men's small please, Dee's new album 'I Stand', and one… Raven, you'd look good in green, right? Purple, gray-ish-white-ish, that goes with green fine. One Defying Gravity shirt, the one with the broom on it. Woman's… small?"

Raven's reply better have been different than what Robin heard. He had been going so well on getting them to drop the language.

"Whatever you get, just get it fast." Robin yelled. Starfire was waiting back for them at the seats, and that delinquent next to her could not be trusted. At all. Robin didn't catch what he asked her, but he could guess when she answered back "No thank you, I am not currently in need of rest."

"Seventy six dollars, please." The clerk said and hurried to grab the items from boxes under the counter. She passed the shirts and the cd across and took the cash from Beast Boy.

"Congratulations," She remarked. "I've only met two other people who actually painted their skin green for the play before."

"Oh, my skin is actually this color. Bitten by a green monkey in Africa when I was two. Thanks, though."

The woman shrugged and turned to the people next in line.

Beast Boy skipped away clutching the merchandise to his chest and giggling hysterically. "Wicked!" He yelled when Raven asked him what was wrong. "Woo!"

=O=

"Merry Christmas!" Beast Boy shoved the green abomination at her as soon as they were in their seats. The lights had already dimmed.

She almost didn't take it. It was worse than the chicken. Almost being the operative word.

The mechanical dragon looming over the top of the stage roared into life, complete with glowing red eyes and rotating neck and wings. The orchestra started, and Raven's breath caught. Just a little hitch, but now her skin was crawling and her heart stretched tight.

Beast Boy giggled and slid further into his seat. "Just wait till Defying Gravity!" He whispered.

=O=

"Dancing through life!" Beast Boy yelled and burst into a dance move in the middle of the street. "Skimming the surface, flying where turf is smooth!" He whirled around and caught Raven's shoulders. "Life's more painless for the brainless! Why think too hard, when it's so soothing?"

She rolled her eyes and pushed past him.

"Into the T-Ship, Beast Boy!" Robin yelled.

Beast Boy danced up the stairs into the sub a second ahead of Raven. "Dancing through life, mindless and careless!" He belted out, completely off key, and did a totally inappropriate pelvic thrust. "Make sure you're where less trouble is rife! Woes are fleeting, blows are glancing, when you're dancing through life! So." He said and whipped around to Starfire. "Where's the most swankified place in town?"

"That would be the ballroom of the Oz Dust." Starfire said cheerfully.

"Get into your seat, Beast Boy!" Robin screamed. It was a lost cause.

"Raven!" Beast Boy yelled as the sub started to take off. "Raven! Raven! Raeee…."

"What."

"We're defying gravity!"

"…They'll never bring us down."

"So you liked it!" He yelled cheerfully across the com link. "I knew you would! The only people who don't like Wicked are guys trying too hard to be manly and the braindead."

Which referred to Robin and Cyborg, of course.

"Hmm."

"True story." Beast Boy fiddled with some of the knobs and accidentally dropped one half of a metric ton of water on the town below them. "Who's your favorite?"

"I don't have favorites, Beast Boy. They're all fictional characters."

"Gelphie forever!" Beast Boy said in response to this. In his mind, it probably made sense.

"I enjoyed the show heartily also, friends." Starfire cut in. "It was the victory of epic proportions, correct?"

"Yup! Totally an epic win." Beast Boy said. "Which scene was your favorite, Star?"

"I…" Starfire faltered. "Popular was extremely humorous, but… I was most touched during the parting of Elphaba and Glinda." She sniffed a little and hastily turned the link off.

"'Most touched' consisted of crying into my shoulder for the rest of the play." Raven explained.

"Dude, we had a good Galinda. She was comparable to Chenoweth." His sentence came out in an awed whisper. He ruined it by giggling. "When she shoved Elfie's face into her—"

"Bosom." Robin interjected.

"--and stroked Elphie's hair and said that it was all going to be okay—I laughed for like twenty minutes! I've seen Popular, like, thirty times, and she still made me laugh all the way through it. She even got a smirk out of you, don't think I didn't notice."

"Hmm."

"Which one did you like the best, Rae?"

"Curtain call."

"Aw, c'mon. You can't pretend not to like it, I saw your face during 'Defying Gravity'. And, you were clutching the seat so hard during 'No Good Deed' that I thought the armrest would snap off."

"Yes, I liked it." Raven snapped. "It was just as good as you made it out to be, Beast Boy. I, unlike you, can't just pick which scene is my favorite. 'Defying Gravity' and 'For Good' would probably be a part of that list, if I had one. Happy?"

"Yup. Defying Gravity is still my favorite, too, next to Dancing Through Life, of course. And that scene with the talking, and the monkeys getting let loose? That was awesome too. Fly my pretties!! Be free!!"

Raven shut her com link off then. Or maybe his. Either way, Beast Boy ended up blaring the soundtrack in his section of the sub the rest of the way home.

Wicked!


End file.
